The heart is spiked on the outside, with a secret inner color. It’s reversible! I found a doodle that I drew last Valentine’s Day, of a spiked heart being held by a hand and then the words, “not lost…but found”. My son wants to cut off the spikes (he cried I wouldn’t let him). My sister saw a photo and she said she liked the heart without the spikes better (not realizing they are the same heart until I told her!).
In my mind, the spikes guard the heart, keep it safe – when hurt, we guard and protect ourselves from future heartaches. Though, in this state it is not hard to grow distant. The spiked heart is empty, hard to touch, difficult to embrace. Turned inside out, the heart is smooth and bright, full, easy to touch, and desirable. Changing is not a long-term solution – it is not easy to maintain two hearts and you can’t choose one or the other without eventually going mad! (I have flipped this heart over and over again.)
After much contemplation, this is just not true – heartache does not make us untouchable…we grow and learn from heartache. It fills us up. It becomes part of who we are. Then there are happy moments when I completely forget hate and hurt, when I cannot help but laugh, or cry tears of joy, and reach out to my friends and tell them “I love you spikes and all!” and also “thanks for sticking around while I get my feelers out.”